from cooking with gas, 2nd edition, large type version...
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* once again find that bag o' giblets and push that sucker deep down in the garbage, way under the coffee grounds and cat throw-up;
* my mistake, fish that slippery booger back out now, we've got some serious baby bakerina butt-busting business going boom boom boom, that's the way we live;
* preheat oven to as many multiples of the core temperature of the sun as you are able;
* obsessively ladle them giblet babes with an intuitive mixture of ketchup, egg whites and ginger-ale. throw a handful of tarragon at it. did you know tarragon is one of the few spices which is entirely synthesized in weapons grade laboratories? in the mid 1950s the cia ran various and several experimental programs at the massachusetts institute of technology, california institute of technology and the fashion institute of tulsa okla to develop something like lsd w/o all the fat, they ended up with tarragon instead. hence the triangle of pookins spice trade wh persists to this day;
* your oven ain't happening sweetheart. let me call you, this is what i'd say: go to your nearest navy shipyard and beg wheedle and whine for them to loan you a decent industrial laser. don't let them play you for a rube, you want the one capable of cutting 7" steel, not some piss-poor 4" rated dinosaur from oh bout 1994;
*throw a monster slab of beef, $14.95/lb, right into the smoker, pipe that into your mind and reject it on principle. careful opening the oven door, don't want to vaporize the old knees now;
*oh good god beef and gibs, you can almost taste it. that hunk of bovinian bread basket is how you americans say layered in fat. shimmering peau de l'orange serious ass fat, we're talking lard. you can suck it down;
*now think, what did you forget, think: th'fuck you're right, the laser's been warming up since three bullets ago. find the master power switch, kill it, get out of the house, i repeat, get out of the house. run.
serves four to six... garnish with garish irish hagis, orange shag carpeting, straight slug digestive tracts, mrs paul's fish sauce, or the blueish stuff growing inside the freezer.