Tuesday, August 31, 2004
It all started with an e-mail from the lovely Vicki Smith aka CalGal. The body of the e contained a link; the subject head read “you need this,” and within an hour I had lost my virginity.
If you are scratching your head because you were pretty sure there was a husband in the picture here, you are not mistaken. The virginity in question was the one I gave up to eBay. “I don’t do eBay. I know myself too well to even start with that,” I used to say in a tone of voice that was 50% smugness, 50% fear, the same voice I would use to explain why I never did cocaine when I had the chance, mostly because I knew better than to do that to my bank account, but also because I was afraid I’d be one of those poor bastards whose heart would explode on the first toot, like Len Bias. I don’t do eBay, I said for the past 5+ years, and then all of a sudden, I did. Four hours after receiving that first e from Vicki, I had looked through hundreds of pages of vintage cookware and cookbooks. “Please tell me to stop,” I said to Lloyd in my best wheedling-junkie voice.
Vicki was right, though. I needed them, I bid on them, I won them, and today I got them in the mail. These are perfect for me, not only because I am still embroiled on the Big Egg Adventure, but also because I am a cartoon nerd, specifically a Warner Brothers cartoon nerd. Looking at the picture, I thought of the 1944 Frank Tashlin cartoon “Booby Hatched,” in which a mother duck hatches out her eggs on a freezing winter night. One of the eggs doesn’t hatch completely and wanders blindly into the forest, where he is kidnapped by a wolf with evil designs. Momma Duck tracks the egg into the woods, calling his name plaintively; finds the wolf’s lair and beats the stuffing out of the wolf. She rescues her baby egg from a boiling cauldron, just in time for him to hatch out, complain “Aw, Ma! Just when I was getting warm!” and jump merrily back into the water.
It is in homage to this cartoon that when I opened the package tonight, I brandished my new salt and pepper shakers at Lloyd and cried out, “Robespierre!” (This was the name of the little almost-hatched duckling.) Ladies and gentlemen...Robespierre!
But that’s it for me and eBay. Just Robespierre. Or just Robespierre and the vintage Ovaltine shaky-cup mixer, which I bought for Lloyd, who is a veritable poster boy for Ovaltine. (All together now, Young Frankenstein fans: “OVALTINE!") Or just Robespierre and the Ovaltine shaky-cup mixer and the chrome citrus juicer, over which I got into a surprising and protracted bidding war and on which I managed to place the winning bid ten seconds before the end of the auction.
And that’s it, really.
As soon as I finish checking out the cookbooks.
Posted by
Bakerina at 11:24 PM in
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I actually check “Prepare to Meet Your Bakerina” at least twice a day (if not three times) and find myself so disappointed if there is no update.
eBay… yeah, I did the eBay thing about four years ago before bankruptcy… haha. eBay didn’t do it to me, but it was just too easy to big on everything. Bought a signed edition of Leslie Marmon Silko’s “ALmanac of the Dead” and a signed edition of one of Sherman Alexie’s book of poems.
Tried to sell once, but the first “buyer” was a flaming retard and never contacted me so I just gave up.
But it surely is attractive. I’d like to put on all 400 of my Beanie Babies~
Wow, you’ve gone all these years without eBay! No wonder you caught the existentialism virus. Don’t worry, though; eBay will change your life.
I’m pretty sure I remember that cartoon. If I recall correctly, during the scene where the egg is lost in the blizzard calling for his mother who is far far away, the egg suddenly stops calling, turns to the screen and says something to the effect of “This is the saddest part of the whole cartoon, folks.” And of course the partially-hatched egg idea was later recycled by Jim Davis (Garfield creator and resident of Muncie, Indiana) in U.S. Acres.
Please don’t tell me I’ve created a monster. Horrors. oddly, I remember that cartoon as well, and I barely remember my name.
Off the watch The Jerk now 
I go in fits and spurts on Ebay. My latest obsession? Vintage tablecloths.
I love them! Can I come over and have something that needs salt and pepper, pretty pretty please??
And eBay is a portal to all the things you never knew you needed.
I am still an eBay virgin and, like you, scared to start. But I covet the eggs.
Ahhhh ... I too am an eBay virgin for fear of the very same thing Bakerina. I’m a kitchen gadget junkie and fear eBay would be the end of me!
And so it begins. 
I am a recovering eBay addict. I still go play on there sometimes. Having no job helps keep me from buying things on there. Like the ivory needlecase I *have* to have. Or the old books and vintage aprons. *sigh*
I love my eBay.
Ooh, I have an Ovaltine shaky-cup mixer. Don’t mix cocktails in yours because the ice will dent it up. 
I looooove the salt and pepper shakers!
ebay is definitely a sellers’ market...it basically ensures the maximum exposure of items with, shall we say, niche appeal (such as a pair of egg shakers that must must must belong to Bakerina), to a vast number of those who otherwise would never know about them.
I really like ebay when I’m selling, and curse it when I’m buying. Some highlights:
Just sold a ‘Creature of the Black Lagoon’ pez dispenser for $130; sold a copy of the White Stripes first single on red vinyl for $150 (I got it for $2 at the Fourth St. Fair in Detroit when Jack White was a busboy); a beat up Nikon F with no light meter to a Nikon fanatic in South Korea for $400…
I won’t reveal what *I* paid too much for.
OOH OOH OOH .. I have the full set of condiment cows ... creamer, sugar bowls, salt & pepper, tea bag holder (yep .. its an udder) I covet your eggs though! ... will have to check out the kitschy flea market over near me ..never bought on ebay .. never even browsed the site .. will have to check it out.
I started laughing as soon as I saw those salt shakers. They are too much! I love them!
Yeah, losing one’s virginity is an apt analogy for ebay shopping. I’d be doing it still if i had two coins to rub together! I find it truly amazing you waited this long.
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I actually check “Prepare to Meet Your Bakerina” at least twice a day (if not three times) and find myself so disappointed if there is no update.
eBay… yeah, I did the eBay thing about four years ago before bankruptcy… haha. eBay didn’t do it to me, but it was just too easy to big on everything. Bought a signed edition of Leslie Marmon Silko’s “ALmanac of the Dead” and a signed edition of one of Sherman Alexie’s book of poems.
Tried to sell once, but the first “buyer” was a flaming retard and never contacted me so I just gave up.
But it surely is attractive. I’d like to put on all 400 of my Beanie Babies~