in the quest for better food, i cook. it was at first in big part to the two dumpy little grocery chains that rule my area; one never stocked fresh bread. what happened to the fresh bread? was there an accident with the truck? is the breadman ok? i voiced my concerns over and over again to little avail. the chain that kept passable bread, also kept un-passable lunchmeat. i caught it on the side of a package that some incompetent double pierced child had left on the counter while trying to find the on switch for the slicer. now i am forced to ask. and if i had been forced to buy one more package of ‘country style’ rib cuts that have absolutely no mention in any cook books at all, i would have lost it entirely. so i bought sharp knives and cutting boards, yeast and flour of all kinds. ‘game on’- i said to myself. sure, it required that i spend a lot more time in the kitchen and not on-the-couch, but hey- being spared running golf commentary and supernineiron infomercials- no big loss to me.
now i get this on the morning news, ‘is food an addiction?’ ‘is food an addiction like drugs and alcohol?’. ogod, well it is the local news and my ‘it’s not the heat it’s the stupidity’ rule does fairly apply in disclaimer, but i’m positive this one has gone national by now. and then this, this bit of unbelievable genius from the anchor, ‘do you need rehab?’ o yeah, i need rehab boys and girls, perhaps a stint on survivor. sure it would crush the remaining tendon holding my sinuous marriage together, but i could lose 50 fucking pounds! hell, what’s more important anyway? you’re integrity, or a million dollars? hm. don’t answer that.
when are we going back to being upset by little things, like peta’s new campaign to keep people from chaining their dogs up. recently a tiger escaped captivity and was on the loose in my state and the woman who offered a 5-month old pig to use as bait- is now facing animal cruelty charges because she made him ride there in her trunk. - it’s the little injustices that get me.
anyhow, i took a picture of this bread for you, perfectly shaped and untouched on the plate, a few toasted slivered almonds sticking up but otherwise seamless, a little cornmeal and wheat flour thrown in for texture. i intend to make bakerina proud...yes. i have been a bad guest blogger previously and should be beaten with a wooden spatula promptly. well...the proper pre-show drama is in place what with accusations of ‘perv magnet’ flying about. i wonder even now if my guestblogging privileges have been revoked already.
bakerina, you have been missed. welcome home.